My life because of THIS dog.... remembering Luna

First off, where did nine years go? That's how long it's been since I've written. Albeit there are a few drafts in my drafts folder, ha ha. On to the blog!!

Well, the day came. Where we had to make the decision for Luna. We spent two months in Palm Springs. Luna did great! She walked everyday, but was definitely slowing down. We had moments of doggie dementia too. But keeping her happy and as healthy as I could was my focus, my priority. 

We made the BIG drive home from the desert at the beginning of the "atmospheric river" Jan 1st 2023. The first day was 11 hours, day two 11 hours. She was getting more and more confused. Walked into the hotel at the end of day two and pooped! Wouldn't eat, but her kidney failure diet and food sucked! 

January 1st at 8:00 we are home!! By January 4th Luna suffered two horrific almost back to back seizures. They were horrible! We immediately brought her to the vet. The adorable and kind Dr. Hannah gave us "the look" and said "well we could try pills to increase her appetite, and go for bigger dosage on the pain meds" And I responded with "can you come to our home tomorrow to let her go?" 

Writing this doesn't seem real. It seems surreal... It's as though I lost an appendage! Agonizing, deep dark despair. Leaving such a void! Just six months before my Luna left, my sweet momma left me. Mom used to always say "God I hope I die before Luna" She knew I would suffer and she didn't want to witness, but she also loved that girl so much! Two days after I brought Luna home in 2008, my husband was off the grid fishing in Canada, I got a call to fly a charter trip. This was during the "down turn" of the economy, my phone hadn't rang in months to do a trip!! So mom said "I got you! I'll come stay at your house with Luna!" And they bonded!! A deep love, respect and connection ensued. For 15 years. 

So it's now been three months to the day. And I can't get through the day without crying. I am so grateful for the 15 plus years we had. So many adventures! Hiking, camping, paddle boarding, lot's of snow! Earthcruiser trips! In 2019 we went to Newfoundland Canada. Gone for three months. She was just so darn easy. So "go with the flow" kinda gal. She loved agility, she loved our 9 years of pet visits at the Horizon House in Seattle and numerous school visits teaching kids the importance and responsibility of having a dog. Volunteering for the Seattle Humane Society where we were trained as a therapy partner team. We raised money for so many different shelters and did so many "walks". She was photographed by Catherine Handfelt who wrote the book "A Hundred Hounds of Kirkland" She was in several calendars too. Sheep herding wasn't her favorite but we both loved hanging out with Brian the trainer. Fly ball, and disc also were some favorites. Thanks to our friend and occasional nanny Tombi. She taught not only Luna a lot, she shared so much knowledge about the breed with me early on. 

"My life because of my dog" truly is an understatement. The connections, the adventures, the joy we spread, the love. It's such a gift! She was my one true soul dog, she simply was my heart. 

Elle is clearly my husbands dog. But is there when she knows I need her. Which in itself, is amazing. But for me, it's not enough. I could never replace Luna. But I'm considering an old dog or a young rescue. Not ready now but considering. The two souls on this planet that loved me more than anything, are gone. My sweet momma and my constant shadow, Luna. It's hard and it sucks. Simply put I'm riding the wave of grief. The ebbs, the flows. I'm leaning into that shit! And some days are good! When you love hard, you grieve hard. Imagine never ever loving anyone or anything! It happens. So... I AM BLESSED. Bottom line

Until we meet again my sweet yiayia and Luna. I will miss and love you forever

So long for now..... I love you too too much!

This last year has brought a lot of loss. First my dear father in law "Lloyd Myron Leckness" Born in 1916. And left this world on September 18th 2013. Then just three weeks ago, my sweet daddy "Clyde Eugene Smith" born in 1923 and left us on January 16th 2014, just three weeks shy of his 91st birthday. I've always heard that losing a parent is a strange, painful and forever changing part of our journey here on earth. I can now attest to that. But being a person of gratitude and always finding the silver linings in life. How blessed I have been to have both of these men for nearly 55 years! True blessing.
Through the love of this amazing animal, we have touched many life's. Both of these dearly departed men lived out the last part of their journey in nursing facilities. On our (almost) daily visits, Luna was always in tow. She brought so much joy to so many residents, some without one visitor EVER! When my dad was tired, or in pain or frustrated Luna would lay with him and his fears, his anxieties would just melt away right before my eyes. And it was so incredible that it usually brought tears to my eyes! The morning my father took his last breath, I was there within 15 minutes of receiving "the call". As we walked into the room, I prepared myself to see him laying in his bed physically present but his soul out of his body. Luna saw him and barked twice. She never had done that before. One of the aids was from Africa and immediately said "perhaps your father was still here in the room?"  Something to ponder I guess? She felt something, no doubt in my mind or in my heart.
We continue to visit because although my daddy is gone, the residents we have met and spent so much time with are still there. Luna continues to bring joy, give kisses, and just do what she does best, LOVE.
Last week my sisters and I traveled to Maui Hawaii to honor our father's last wish. To scatter his earthly remains in his favorite place on earth. He loved life, golf, sun, fun, and family gatherings. It was such an emotional, cathartic and loving experience. I'm still in awe that we were able to fulfill his wish. So blessed. There is never "goodbye" but rather "So long for now" for my dad and Lloyd albeit physically gone from our lives, I can feel them with me everyday. My dad used to tell us "I love you too too much" Well daddy.... I love you too! Too too too too too too much! God bless you both, love your daughter and daughter in law. And of course Luna!

rich versus RICH

This feeling is overwhelming! I now know what it truly feels like to feel and be rich. This is coming from a woman who lost her job (misplaced it I guess) which she loved nearly six years ago!! The struggles, the raging emotions, the shift in my body, the pain, the "going without" the growing older. ALL OF IT! And I feel so good. I'm so incredibly grateful, I'm fulfilled, I am RICH.

I know that this journey was a part of the big plan. Without these bumps in the road, I would not have done or met nearly all of the people I have met since April 2006. Luna has helped me along the way with her PURE love of life and her undying love for me. Blessed.......

Sweet Caroline Weintraub

It's been a year since I've written and no real reason for my absenteeism either. I could say I was working too much, or playing too much, or broke all of my fingers in a horrible accident so I couldn't type. Was kidnapped by Gypsy's. But none of it would be true. It's just life. And in a blink of an eye, a year goes by. Whooooooosh
Yesterday at the Horizon House I said my goodbyes to my sweet girl Caroline. I knew she wouldn't be on this earth for much longer. She had what is called the "death rattle" yesterday. It is a sound that occurs when someone is near death and the saliva accumulates in their throat and it becomes harder to swallow. I rubbed her head and her hands and told her to just "let go". And hours later she drifted into an eternal sleep. Here's a teeny bit of what I knew about Caroline.
When she first arrived at Horizon House she lived independently upstairs. She just happened to be Lorraine's neighbor (I wrote about Lorraine's passing last year). One day Lorraine heard distress coming from Carolines apartment and called for help. Caroline had suffered a stroke. One that would allow her to live, but without a voice or her independence. She now had to move downstairs to the "supported living" floors. And was unable to speak. It never really was an issue with us because we never needed to communicate by speaking when Luna and I would visit her. She loved animals and loved to read. I would bring her "Jon Katz" books about his dogs and his experiences with his dogs. She loved our visits and so did Luna and I.  Talking was not necessary! But anyone that knows me, knows I love to talk. And I love to learn about people and their life, history etc.... It frustrated Caroline that she couldn't tell me all I wanted to know!! So one day when we arrived in her room for our weekly visit, she was beside herself with excitement. She reached into her walker's front pocket and pulled out about eight 3 x 5 cards with writing on them. She handed them to me. I read them aloud and this is what they said:
"Born April 11th 1918 in New York
Grew up in Hackensack New Jersey
Attended Columbia University
Worked on Wall Street as a Corporate law secretary. And commuted daily from Hackensack
During World War II she worked with the American Red Cross as a volunteer in Alaska & Hawaii
In 1965 she moved to San Diego and lived in a house overlooking the ocean.
Moved to the Grosvenor House in Seattle
Then moved into the Horizon House
Dedicated to loving and caring treatment of animals
Belonged and donated to PETA and the Delta Society"
Loves to read
laugh
blue sweaters
brownies
chocolates
cream puffs 

AND IS A GREAT FRIEND!" 


This was all transposed by me just as it was written. Very vague info, and no idea as to who "filled" in the blanks. But grateful for a little piece of Caroline's extraordinary life. Today I remember Caroline, I'm grateful for our friendship, and I  honor the life of Caroline Winetraub. 


(The picture above is Caroline, myself and Maggie. My dear friend Tim's dog. Tim tagged along one day and took some amazing photo's)


Rest in Peace sweet girl......

Friends.......

Had a visit from a girl friend all the way from sunny Florida. She and her two 11 year old twin girls graced our home with laughter, love and life. We decorated the tree, shared a meal and toured the Pike Place Market in the city.
This time of the year always and should bring people together. Families in crisis, old friends, the old, the young, the employed and those that have nothing. Reach out and give someone your "time" your "love". That's what it is all about........

Ask and you shall receive

Our local ski area opened up this past weekend and we were on the slopes Saturday and Sunday!! Sunny, cold, good dry snow. Just not quite enough of it this early on. If always feels so good to have the wind on your face and the glow that follows. It's one of the places that my husband and I really enjoy "together". We own a tiny condo up across the street from the ski area. Mornings are spent laying in bed sipping tea or coffee and reading all the material that piled up during the week. Anything but bills. Circulars, magazines, new books, Christmas cards etc.. Then a quick bowl of oatmeal, some yoga poses and full body stretches and we hit the slopes!! Now with Luna we get back and take her out for a walk. She loves the snow. Yesterday we walked up into the valley. Usually we are unable to do this particular hike because back country skiers are coming out of the valley and it can get pretty treacherous with skiers coming at you full speed. But with the back country still closed it was just snowshoe rs and hikers. Luna roots, runs, flings snow up into the air and runs like the wind. So fun to watch and warms my heart. And always brings a smile to our faces.

A daily practice for me is gratitude. Remembering all the things I'm forever grateful for. Not the lack of, or the need of. But shifting my thinking into believing that I have more than enough. I lack or need nothing.
We have on the average 60,000 thoughts a day. Because my "current reality" is being unemployed, it is a daily practice to shift my thinking and think of nothing but prosperity, abundance, pure happiness and love. We all attract what we have thought about into our lives, period. Imagine what you want in your life. See it as yours, whatever that may be. Convince your mind, your thoughts that you already have "received". What does that feel like? Take that feeling and run with it. "What you think about, you bring about". It's amazing what our minds and thoughts are capable of. The "Placebo" effect for example. If someone tells you to take this pill it will cure what ails you. And you take it. And because of the predominant thought is "if I take this I will be cured" you in effect, cure yourself with nothing but your thoughts!! Amazing.... really. I was watching a Holiday movie while up at the condo and saw another famous (yet never think about) quote. "Ask and you shall receive" Where do you think these came from? How about the Genie in the bottle? "Your wish is my command" BELIEVE! Shift your thinking into FEELING like you have already recieved. THINK it into your life! Anything, anytime, anywhere. This is a magical time of the year. Let's all BELIEVE and let's all find someone to help or serve. Giving is one of the fastest ways to get into thinking your way to happiness, good health and abundance.

Tonight we decorate the tree with my friend Christine here from Florida and her two 11 year old twin girls. Life is good.........

Eat, Stray, Poop

One day a week when I'm not flying I volunteer at our local Humane Society. When I arrived this morning they were off loading a truck load of little doggies from Los Angeles California. This is the 4th or 5th truckload from L.A. since January. Apparently all the Hollywood starlets are tired of their  "pocket" dogs, but the ignorant greedy breeders continue to breed them! There were 3 to 4 dogs to a kennel. Crying, cold, dirty and frightened. Once processed they were transferred to these kennels. They will now be thoroughly examined by the on sight veterinarian, behavioral tested, fed, bathed, and cuddled. Then one day very soon, they will be up for adoption and looking for their "forever" family.
I wasn't able to do this kind of "service" prior to rescuing Luna. I remember once going through volunteer training for our local Hospice. I got half way through the training and had to bail. I was an emotional wreck! I felt like such a loser for not being able to help. Luna has enabled me to serve, to be strong and to bring joy to peoples life's. In life and in death. Why? I'm not quite sure, except for I think she rescued me. I was at such a sad, gloomy, vulnerable place when Stella died. I had lost my job, and lost my "mojo" too. I just couldn't find ME. She brought me back to my happy place and back to ME.
So when people say to me "how do you volunteer there? I could never do it. I'd want to take them all home" And I say..... "it's not easy, but they need me and they could use you too!" Truth is is that I'm so busy the whole time I'm there, I'm focused on getting things done and cleaned up. Dogs walked, kennels cleaned, beds laundered, dog dishes washed, garbage emptied, an occasional bath, and cuddle. All done by donations, volunteers and very dedicated hard working animal loving people.
Thanks Luna!!
Woof
xoxoxo